Dieses Gedicht entstand vor zwei Monaten. Aus meiner Sicht schwankt es zwischen Selbst- und Sprachkritik. Meine Verzweiflung über die Unzulänglichkeiten der Sprache wird mich wohl immer mal wieder heimsuchen.
Hide
you’re hiding under pillows
I’m hiding in your arms
I feel tongue-tied and speechless
afraid of false alarms
I’m missing all expressions
words seem inadequate
but there’s so much to speak of
before it is too late
necessities unspoken
my wants and needs unclear
before my courage’s broken
I simply need you near
I never knew my feelings
lost hold of my inside
I learned to hate all language
because it made me hide
all terms are bonds and prisons
and yet they’re all I’ve got
I have to phrase emotions
before they fade and rot
why do I wait and wish for
the chance of being asked
I need an invitation
to dare and face this task
why can’t I name my marrow
why do I feel distressed
I’m lost in some strange sorrow
though actually I’m blessed
maybe I’m too reclusive
in everything I do
I’d never claim desires
afraid to bother you
I need your recognition
to only dare and speak
some kind of affirmation
maybe that’s what I seek
I know I don’t appear that
much insecure and small
but introvert and upset
I finally will fall
kommunikatz 